Hot Mess Mom » Archive
Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 22
{disclaimer: I am NOT Gooley.. On Tuesdays my friend Gooley guest posts. These are HIS stories. His life. His Antics. Every other post on this blog is written by me. EXCEPT for the ones titled “Tuesday’s with Gooley” Please don’t ever mistake MY messiness for his.. I am clean and I smell good} Big Balls… An expose There is a reason BB and I moved to the middle of nowhere on 50 acres. True, there are practical reasons as well as an inner calling to live more simply. These are the reasons we expand on when we are in mixed company. There are many reasons actually, but one important reason is that we are no longer fit for society. Society is far safer with our weirdness tucked away on a hill protected … Read entire article »
Filed under: Tuesdays with Gooley
Losing my fat ass~ Week Two
It’s Wednesday.. Day 3 of Week 2.. just got home from 3 days with family and friends at the beach. Lots of booze. Lots of junk food. LOTS of snacks. And pizza. And biscotti. And bagels. And fruit. And I at NONE OF IT! NONE! And it wasn’t even really that hard.. I definitely have more of an appetite than I had last week, but I’m still not “hungry”. The addition of veggies has been great! I’ve been snacking on artichoke hearts, raw asparagus, cauliflower and nuts. AND I had a few vodkas with crystal light lemonade… Yay for me! Feeling really good. However, I will say.. the past 2 nights I have dreamt of food. And not a little bit of food.. I have dreamt of having dinner parties with 100 … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary, Products & Reviews
I love the Olympics. But I’m having a few issues.
I LOVE the Olympics! LOVE! Winter or Summer….doesn’t matter… I could watch them 12 hours a day for 3 weeks. I don’t. But I could. Obviously, I have my favorites like everyone else… swimming, gymnastics, beach volleyball, diving…. But I even like to watch the boring stuff… well, not really rowing, or ping pong… but many many other events. People who have given their whole lives to ONE thing…. YOUNG people who have the drive and focus to be among the BEST in the world….. Older athletes who keep coming back for more… 4th and 5th Olympic experiences…… all of them amaze me. Truly amazing. I wrote a post several months ago called Superwoman I am not. It explains that I am the queen of “good enough”. Whatever the gene is that people … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings
I am sooo gonna start saving money! Nerd Wallet is gonna help.
Damn. You know I have totally gone overboard with my summer spending. I do it every summer. I always think I won’t. But I do. I do so great budgeting the trips during the planning stages. I will spend an hour to save $10 on a rental car. But then, once I’m actually ON said trip… I’ll order a $15 glass of wine like it’s nothing. Anyhoo… once again, I find myself in my normal July/August predicament… fat and poor. Gained too much weight.. spent too much money… It is at this time every year that I VOW to start using coupons. I VOW to research the best deals available on clothing. I VOW to get the most out of the rewards programs on our bank cards. And I usually do really well … Read entire article »
Filed under: Products & Reviews
Tuesdays with Gooley- Episode 21
{disclaimer: I am NOT Gooley.. On Tuesdays my friend Gooley guest posts. These are HIS stories. His life. His Antics. Every other post on this blog is written by me. EXCEPT for the ones titled “Tuesday’s with Gooley” Please don’t ever mistake MY messiness for his.. I am clean and I smell good} 25th High School Reunion Well, all of my whining and negative future fantasy about how terrible my high school reunion was going to be proved to be silly. I had a great time and reconnected with great people. I was also on my best behavior…mostly. I even upped my grooming game to a new level. Not only did I get a haircut and shave and shower every day, but I wore layers of deodorant….of course I forgot mine but … Read entire article »
Filed under: Tuesdays with Gooley
Losing my fat ass~ Week One
Ya’ll know I eat and drink like a rock star. When I was 20, it was fine. When I was 30, I would gain a few pounds, then lose those pounds.. No problem. Now I’m {almost} 40. I’ve done nothing but travel, eat and drink for the last 18 months. I have gained 15 25 30 pounds. THIRTY FLIPPING POUNDS!! I’m pretty tall… I can hide an extra 10 pounds no problem. There is NO WAY to hide 30 pounds. Unless it’s under a tent. My fat pants don’t fit. My bras don’t fit. My knees and elbows have cleavage. My cleavage has cleavage. I’m not wearing my wedding rings and I can’t FaceTime with my husband because looking at my 7th chin on the iPad makes me angry sad disgusted. Here’s the deal.. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary
this morning’s parenting lesson
Oh. My. God! The boys and I are heading to the beach today for a few nights with friends. I’m packing up, making breakfast, loading the ice chest and doing one last load of laundry. I gave Numbers Two and Three a trash bag and told them to go clean out the car. Number Two: What do we have to clean? Me: Just get everything out of the car… start in the way back.. do both rows of seats and then anything in the front. Number Two: WE didn’t get the front dirty!! I’m only going to do the back rows of seats. The front and the way back are your areas.. You use those! So I glared at him, and right before I started to scream at that little bastard… my genius light-bulb went off….. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Stellar Parenting Advice, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
WHAT exactly IS the Million MILF March–logistically?
I’ve had this event in my head for so long that I just assume everyone knows exactly what the event entails. Apparently, I am wrong. I’ve explained the WHO, the WHY, and the WHERE… I guess I never discussed the WHAT.. So… here it is.. WHAT exactly are we going to do at this event? Why do I have to register? What am I getting for my money? Can I just show up that day and join the fun? The MMM is a two-part event.. Friday night is a charity fundraiser. Saturday is a pub-crawl. I will explain each one. Friday night: With your paid registration, you receive delicious food, open bar, and live entertainment. Music, drinking & dancing.. a perfect Friday night HMM fans will have lots of time with The … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary
20th Annual Celebrity Mascot Games
I took the boys to the Mascot Games today at the Orlando Amway Center. It is their favorite {sporting?} event of the year. For those of you not in Central Florida… what are the Mascot Games? This is the ONLY event of its kind in the world. The Celebrity Mascot Games features over 30 mascots from the MLB, NBA, NHL, and NFL, along with the NCAA. . Proceeds from the Celebrity Mascot Games benefit New Hope for Kids, an Orlando based not-for-profit organization that grants wishes to children under the age of 18 who are suffering from life-threatening illnesses. Since its inception, New Hope has granted more than 3,000 wishes, focusing on the children of Central Florida. In addition, since the first Mascot Games in 1992, this event has raised nearly $300,000. So, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Night kayaking without my dad’s hearing aids…
Last night we went kayaking on a bioluminescence tour. You can read about that HERE. While the bioluminescence wasn’t as vivid and colorful as we were hoping/ expecting.. it was still VERY cool and such a super cool night spent with my parents and my kids. Everything was funny, but probably “family funny” and not “interweb funny”… so I’ll just give you the bullet points. Kayak 1- me and Number One. {note: my broken back} Kayak 2- my mom and Number Three {who may have a touch of narcolepsy} Kayak 3- my dad and Number Two {who did not want to go on this adventure at all} My dad cannot hear. Unless he wears hearing aids. Which he didn’t. My dad was also compulsively obsessed and worried about where my mom was at all times. It should … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family
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