Hot Mess Mom » Archive
i will never be skinny again
I’ve given up. I’ve accepted the fact that I will never be skinny again. I’ve also included in this description~~ thin, svelt, and statuesque. We know that I eat and drink like it’s my last day on Earth, so I’m sure that has contributed to my non-skinniness. However, it is not the only factor. My body is not mine anymore. It’s so different. I was always tall and thin with small boobs and a big ass. And then … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary, Ramblings, Things that are NOT awesome
Tuesdays with Gooley. Episode 1
If you are confused by this post, or don’t understand where it is coming from… please refer to Tuesdays with Gooley… an intro… http://hotmessmom.com/?p=2419 This does not mean that I will not be posting on Tuesdays , it only means that you all get a little extra.. “lagniappe” if you will.. I love this man.. this messy, messy man with all of my heart.. and I know you will too… I introduce to you… Tuesdays with Gooley: Ah ha … Read entire article »
Filed under: Tuesdays with Gooley, Uncategorized
cursing fail
I swear, I need to keep a recorder on in my car at all times. Number Three: Mom… did I tell you that a boy in my class said Fuck I-N? Me: He said WHAT? Number Three: Fuck-I-N. Number One: Dude! You are supposed to spell the F-U-C-K part… you can say the ‘ing’….. Number Three: Oh . . my bad. Number One: That was a cursing FAIL. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Tuesdays with Gooley… an intro….
If you follow my ridiculousness on Facebook, then chances are you have been exposed to “Gooley”. Gooley was my college roommate for a period of 1991. I was 18 and he was 22. All of our furniture was empty kegs. All of it. The TV sat on a keg. End tables were plywood on top of a keg. Kegs, Kegs, Kegs.. and of course, lots of road signs and stolen barricades adorned our shithole apartment. ( I used to … Read entire article »
Filed under: Tuesdays with Gooley
I went to Brad & Angie’s wedding. And didn’t get blown up.
AAAaaaaannnndddd…… here we go again. Last night’s dream: I was invited to Brad and Angelina’s wedding. I think it was in New Orleans, but I was there with my Florida friends, so I’m not completely sure. There were probably about 1000 people, and it was open seating. Everytime I chose a seat, my table would fill with people that I did not want to hang out with, so I would move. Seven told me I was rude … Read entire article »
Filed under: My F*ed up Dreams
MMM
Soo excited that people are talking about the Million Milf March… Read below post from the MMM site!! http://millionmilfmarch.com/he-called-me-a-blind-squirrel/ … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
My DVR is taunting me.
I get totally stressed out when my DVR gets too full. And then I cancel plans or ignore my kids or decline invites or stay up late just to watch what’s on it so I can clear it off. It’s the same reason I had to quit playing Word With Friends.. I had too many games going at once and I got seriously stressed out. And note~~ I am not a stresser. My kids come inside bloody from a head wound and I take it in stride, but 2 unwatched episodes of Cougar Town send me over the edge. I’m pretty sure that’s not normal but I don’t have time to think or write about it because I only have 23% available space. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Grown-up time, Ramblings
Cyborgs vs Elephants
Mom… Could a cyborg pick up an elephant? I dunno.. I’ve never met a cyborg and I’ve never tried to lift an elephant. {giggles} Mom, you are so weird. Really? I’M the one that’s weird in this conversation? Yup. {sigh} okay… … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Perfect children, cheese and chocolate.
I’m still a little buzzed from last night’s dinner. Not boozey buzzed… happy buzzed. I surprised the boys with dinner at The Melting Pot. If you know me at all, you know that I do NOT eat at chain restaurants. There are a few exceptions.. 1) if someone invites me 2) when Chili’s donates to St. Jude 3) Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and 4) The Melting Pot. I am a sucker for fondue. My boys are fun to take to any restaurant. They are adventurous eaters. They generally use their manners. And they get overly excited to have soda. I have never taken them for fondue. Last night was Wednesday. Just a normal rainy Wednesday night. We dressed up a little and hit The Melting Pot. You know those nights with your kids … Read entire article »
i sleep with little boys
Before I had kids, there were three things that I swore I would NEVER do as a mother. My kids would never have a pacifier My kids would never run around in only a diaper. they would always be dressed. My kids would NEVER, under any circumstances, sleep in the bed with Seven and I. And then I actually HAD children and stopped talking out of my ass. I forced pacifiers in their mouths even when they didnt’ want them. My tatas needed a break. I did keep them dressed… i don’t think any of my boys were ever seen running around in a diaper when they were little, although I don’t remember much about Number Two so maybe..??? Every child i had slept in bed with Seven and I until we had the next baby. Which brings me to … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
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