Hot Mess Mom » Archive
handy man
Something is wrong with my washing machine. Seven is “checking it out”. He was unable to find a flashlight and commandeered the kids’ night vision goggles. This is my life people. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Irony?
okay… so usually I have Blog posts and Facebook posts… I generally do not double dip. And while THIS is really a FB post….it deserves to make the blog. I ordered bubble wrap from Amazon. 220 feet worth of bubble wrap. I just recieved it. It was package in a box. And PADDED. With PAPER. there is really nothing else to say. Except for there IS!! ADDENDUM!!! A reader just sent me THIS… Sooo….double irony!!! January 30, 2012 is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day Today is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day! In the late 1950s, an American engineer named Al Fielding and a Swiss inventor named Marc Chavannes created Bubble Wrap. …They were actually trying to come up with a textured, plastic wallpaper, but soon realized that their product had huge potential as a packaging material. Fielding and Chavannes formed the … Read entire article »
Filed under: Things that are NOT awesome
Dear USPS…
Dear United States Postal Service, I want to support you. I do. I have forgone the easier shipping methods of UPS and FedEx because I do not want you to go bankrupt. And while I cannot save you alone.. I can certainly commit to utilize you. Which I have done. Until today. First of all… your hours are 9-5. It’s 2012. Unless you are a retail outlet, you need to open before 9am. The rest of the world arrives to their office at 8am. How can we “stop by the post office on the way to work”? We cannot. Secondly, when I arrived today with 9000 boxes to ship (at 8:30 because I assumed you’d be open), your employees watched me make 11 trips back and forth to my car retrieving boxes with … Read entire article »
Filed under: Ramblings, Things that are NOT awesome
Whores
AAAAHHHHHHHH…. so.. a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend sent me this today. {and yes.. I have permission from the recipient of this text to publish this} This is a text from a 21 year-old daughter to her mother. Note: this text came to the mother with no conversation or mention of the MMM…. this is being posted only because I have ZERO tolerance for crazy You’re not planning on being involved with that … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Seven’s ears slur
I’m a slurrer. When I have too much to drink.. I slur. And quite frankly, I don’t understand how some people don’t slur. Seven does not slur. Our friend Scooter does not slur. No matter how much they have to drink..they never slur. It’s annoying. However.. when I get so slurry that I’m completely unintelligable… Seven generally understands me and acts as translator. Seven calls me yesterday afternoon. It was 5pm. (obviously, due to my stupid diet, I was 100% sober) Hello????? Hi!! What are you doing? It’s like 3am there.. What? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT’S LIKE 3AM THERE…. Went out drinkin’.. It’s not 3.. it’s like midnight. Uh.. I don’t think it’s midnight… What? I SAID… I DON’T THINK IT’S MIDNIGHT {shuffling… apparently trying to find clock}… oh.. my bad.. it’s 2am. d’ya have fun? What? Oh my God.. DID YA’LL HAVE … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary, Grown-up time
A few oldies but goodies for your amusement…..
Okay… so I am going to be out of pocket most of the day {in my own special hell}. HMM has recieved LOTS of new followers over the past couple of weeks. Sooo…for your reading pleasure… I’m attaching a few “oldie but goodies” for you to enjoy… And note: I LOVE comments!!! Please comment if you are so moved.. it will give me something to read while I spend the day at a kids’ singing function.. oy. ~~~ and of course.. don’t forget to vote by clicking on the brown TMB banner to your right!~~~ I want to make your baby an orphan http://hotmessmom.com/?p=315 Pop the bubble http://hotmessmom.com/?p=264 Whole or Hole? http://hotmessmom.com/?p=229 When is it okay to turn down free wine? http://hotmessmom.com/?p=190 Happy hour was SHOCKING http://hotmessmom.com/?p=842 Your musical talent is making me suicidal http://hotmessmom.com/?p=595 NEVER give me … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
“there’s a chance this is vodka” ™
Check it!! For those of you NOT on Facebook… Got 100 of these in today. Already sold out. Just ordered another 100.. Should have within 10 days.. You can place your order in the Hot Mess Mall! http://hotmessmom.com/store/category/bev_acc/water-bottles/ … Read entire article »
Filed under: Uncategorized
Apparently I’m inappropriate
Seven called this morning. So honey.. here in Abu Dhabi, and I guess all over the Middle- East.. .. porn sites, gambling sites, and sites with inappropriate content are blocked. And guess what else is blocked? Hot Mess Mom! I’m still giggling.. Must have been the burka baby…. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Antics
my cheeks are tingling from excitement
I sooo want to share everything that is going on in my head right now.. but I can’t get my thoughts in order. My head is buzzing and my cheeks feel tingly. Bottom line: The Hot Mess Mom Million Milf March..which was going to be a quickie girls’ weekend.. is turning into something REAL. Something that I am going to be so proud to have started and something that you all will be proud to be a part of. That does NOT mean that it’s going to be a fancy schmancy event and cost a ton of money. It’s September in New Orleans…. it will be a tank top and flip flop event with ridiculous amounts of fun and alcohol. And I’m so excited about it. But what has made me … Read entire article »
Filed under: Ramblings, Uncategorized
I’m suffering from stress and exaustion
Alright, so listen.. I am NOT a celebrity hater. I read People magazine. I watch TMZ on occasion. I like celebrities as much as the next person. Well, unless the next person is celebrity obsessed, in which case I like them less than that.. But you get my drift. I GET that being famous is stressful. I’m sure that having your whole life out there being judged by the world sucks. Having your picture taken everytime you want a latte’ would certainly get old. I understand.. I do. But here’s the thing….. celebrities are famous because they have been successful. They chose a path in life and achieved their goals. Even those crazy “pseudo-celebs” who I still don’t know what they do or who they are.. made a choice “to be famous” … Read entire article »
Filed under: Ramblings
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