Hot Mess Mom » Archive
a pee thermometer….it’s what’s for Christmas
Me: Seven.. did someone really give you a meat thermometer for Christmas? Number One: What’s a PEE Thermometer? And WHERE is it?????? Me: Oh Dear God…. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family, Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Christmas morning.. what a blessing
I swear….every time I think that Christmas morning cannot possibly live up to the hype in my kids eyes.. I’m surprised… This morning was amazing. Number Two (who has been saying for days that he’s just not as excited about Christmas as normal)… came in my room at 2:30 am to whisper.. “mom!! he came! Santa came and he’s already gone” The rest of the troops were up before 6am. My parents came over at 6:30 to watch the kids open gifts. They got great gifts and were so excited.. What is so awesome to me is that they are just as excited over socks, undies and books as they are over a surf board, video camera, wii games, Disney tickets and deep-sea fishing trip. 3 sets of giant wide eyes and … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary
i love beer. and sausage. ™
Talking to Seven about why I don’t want to go to London and would rather other places… ( which I was listing) He says: I was reading the other day about this Beer tour thru the Bavarian Alps. I shrug.. and shake my head… indicating.. not at the top of my list. He says… Honey… You love beer. You love sausage. You love mountains. It’s all you. I giggled and grabbed the laptop Everytime I want to cut that fucker he makes me laugh at my own ridiculousness. Bastard. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary
i am a Christmas overachiever
It’s true. I am . I don’t overachieve in many areas of my life, but I kick the ass out of Christmas. I don’t mean that I buy the most gifts. Or the most expensive. Or that I wrap in the loveliest paper or send the most beautiful cards. I kick the shit out of Christmas because I truly take the time to enjoy it. I really do. I run around like a crazy person in November as if it’s December 23rd. My annual goal is to have everything done by December 1st. Gifts ordered and cards stamped! THEN… all I have to do for the balance of December is wait for the gifts to arrive and wrap them. ( In between the 1 bazillion parties we go to). Oh, and attend all … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary
My children are apparently not good at math
In the car today, the radio featured a story about Ellen Degeneres’ house being on the market. For $49 Million. Number Three: I want to buy that house!! Number Two: You don’t have that much money! You’re not even CLOSE!! Number Three: I know.. I’m only at $73. Maybe in a thousand years. Number Two: And why would you spend $49 Million on a house. You could get TWO Jeeps for that!! And probably still get like a thousand dollars back!! Number One: Oh my god… you guys are idiots. Me: Do NOT say idiot!! Number One: Are you listening to this conversation? Me: Sadly, yes. Number One: Well then… I’ll let you make your own decision if they’re idiots or not. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Ways I know I'm failing as a parent
Christmas morning… I just can’t wait!
I was MADE for Christmas. I have been blessed with a very good memory (with the exception of ’88-’93, in which case I remember nothing! But that’s not the point). I remember my childhood. I remember the events and the people.. but mostly, I feel so lucky to remember the FEELINGS.. I remember what it was like to be disappointed as a kid. Or excited. Or scared. I remember how helpless it felt to listen to people fight, or to get a bad grade. I remember that pit in my stomach every time I did something wrong. I remember the adrenaline rush of trying to pull a prank on my parents. But mostly, I remember Christmas Eve. The nervous tummy “was I good enough?” “What if that asshole in my class is right … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary, Family
I love this day ;)
It’s 2:30pm and ALL I have done today is pull a prank, make nookie, take a nap and have a glass of wine. Now… The munchkins are having a sleepover at the grandparents and the only thing I have to do is get ready for a big fancy Christmas party and try to squeeze into last year’s Christmas pants. Best. Day. Ever. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Dear Diary
Prankilicious
Soo… if you’ve read anything I’ve ever posted under “Antics”, you know that I love a good prank. Love Love Love.. And we surround ourselves with friends who also appreciate the art of pranking. You know I stole the Christmas Pig. (from Family A) Then they retaliated by stealing everything from my yard. Then we (Family A and Family HMM) joined forces and dressed up Jho (the blow-up doll) in Santa lingerie and tied her up in another friends yard. (Family B) But that still left the fact that Family A has not suffered enough for stealing ALL of my Christmas decorations out of my yard. Soooooo…. I’ve spent the last few days picking up old furniture and shit from the side of the road. This morning, I put Garage Sale signs through our neighborhood, … Read entire article »
Filed under: Antics, Grown-up time
THIS is why I’m on Christmas #16 with Seven
Seven: What’d you do today? Me: Omg.. I got so much done! Blah blah blah blah…. And I ordered fresh Cornish hens from the Butcher. And I ordered all of the bread from the Baker. Seven: SHIT!! (yells….) DAMMIT!!! Me: WHAT??? Seven: If I’d have known you were doing all that I would have had you stop at the Candle-Stick Maker… he’s such a douche. God, I love him… I’m still laughing… … Read entire article »
Filed under: Family
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